


Tired to the bone

by chiridotalaevis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dogs, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiridotalaevis/pseuds/chiridotalaevis
Summary: Dan is really tired after the tour.





	Tired to the bone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lizzyboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzyboo/gifts).



> This fic is a gift for Lizzy that I wanted to publish next week, but got too impatient. Sorry:)
> 
> A huge thanks to @nihilismdan and @secretlizard for betaing! You guys are awesome.

There are different levels of tiredness. Sometimes your body is tired and you need a nap. Sometimes your mind is tired and it helps to aimlessly scroll through twitter for a couple hours. Sometimes your entire being is tired, and you just need to blackout and sleep for 14 hours to recover.

But there is also a type of exhaustion when you are so tired you can’t even sleep. You are consumed by the lack of energy and all you can do is suffer aimlessly in your bed, hoping to fall into deep sleep, but instead shifting in and out of consciousness and just feeling more and more tired as time goes by.

That’s the type of tired Dan feels after they get home from the tour. The jet lag and all the stress and the exhaustion from touring the world for 5 months and meeting people and performing on a stage, sometimes twice a day, coupled with the feeling of it being over and done, all of that has put Dan into one of the worst withdrawals he has ever had.

Phil has gotten out of bed this morning after a good solid 12 hours of sleep, and has been in the lounge playing fortnite all this time. Dan, however, is just lying in bed with no lights on, praying to feel better and to fall asleep again. Everything seems exhausting and draining, the whole world feels grey and Dan doesn’t even have the energy to be upset about it. It’s torture.

He knows that the healthy thing to do would be to get out of bed, have something to eat and maybe a shower, do some yoga or go for a run and try to get his body to work properly again. The healthy thing is the last thing Dan feels like doing. He just wants to mope. He is allowed. He is tired and depressed and overworked, so yeah, he is allowed to just be miserable for a little while.

Every couple of hours he hears Phil coming into the room to check on him. He softly sets a glass of water on the side table, carefully pulls back the covers to see if Dan is asleep or not and gently kisses his forehead, or murmures something sweet if Dan’s awake. He also asks if Dan wants him to stay or if he wants something to eat, but Dan always rejects him. One of the reasons is because he doesn’t want to suck Phil into his hole of exhaustion, another is that he just really wants to be miserable, and being miserable with Phil lying in your bed requires more energy. Something that Dan doesn’t have.

Dan tries to remember the last time Phil checked on him. It must have been a couple hours at the very least. His overtired brain instantly provides him with an explanation: Phil is tired of his shit and doesn’t care anymore.

He lets himself wallow in that feeling of hurt and sadness for a couple minutes, until he reluctantly pulls himself out of it. That’s ridiculous. Phil has seen Dan in much worse states, they have survived through horrible ups and downs of Dan’s depression, through fights and pain and conflicts, and Phil’s compassion and love for Dan has never waivered. But it’s kind of nice to feel all forgotten and abandoned so Dan allows himself to do it. Serves Phil right for abandoning him.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but the sun has set outside of his curtained windows, and his brain has already gone through all the scenarios of Phil finding him cold and alone and sick and then weeping over his lifeless body, cursing himself for not being attentive enough. Dan’s a dramatic person, ok? Could he text Phil and ask him to come cuddle him? Of course, he knows Phil could come running. Could he just stand up and walk into the next room to see him? Yes, he could. But instead he just watches the light from the streetlights filter through the blinds and leave orange stripes on the dark wall of his bedroom.

His misery is interrupted by soft footsteps in the corridor and the sound of the door being opened.

Finally. Took Phil long enough to check on him. Either because of tiredness or to punish Phil and not give away how much he was waiting for him Dan stays still, not looking towards the door and just lies under the covers curled up. He hears Phil sit down on the other side of the bed, turn on the lamp on the bedside table, but then he hears a weird squealing and panting. He is almost tempted to look around to see what the strange noise is, but stops himself. He doesn’t have the energy to care.

And then he feels something wet and cold gently nudge his shoulder and then a warm, wet, scratchy tongue licking his neck, and a tiny fluffy paw nudging him.

Surprised and startled, Dan finally turns around and is met with the sight of the most adorable puppy he has ever seen. It’s brown and cuddly and small and it’s now eagerly licking his face and nudging him and its soft and warm and precious.

He looks past the puppy and sees Phil sitting on the bed fully dressed, smiling at the scene.

“This is Yuka, I borrowed her from my friend Lizzy,” Phil says softly. “I thought that she would cheer you up a bit.”

Dan continues staring at Phil, but the adorable plush puppy in his face is demanding attention, and he doesn’t even notice how he starts running his hands through Yuka’s soft curly fur while she licks every inch of skin she can reach.

He digs his face into the puppy’s fur and takes a deep breath. She smells like warmth, and like a dog and a little bit of shampoo. It’s so good. So easy. So relaxing. He sees Phil gently petting Yuka as well and their hands brush each other in her fur every once in a while. Dan’s chest is getting tight and he is so grateful that Phil stays silent, because he’s afraid that if he opens his mouth a ragged sob would come out and that would be embarrassing, wouldn’t it.

After some time and some intense petting, Yuka settles in curled up under Dan’s side, cuddled up close to him, her breathing slows and she falls asleep. Both Dan and Phil continue running their fingers softly through her fur, and Dan looks up at Phil again. He’s too tired right now, but when he has the energy, he’s going to take some time to cry about how much he loves his partner at this moment, and in general. And how adorable Phil looks right now, with his quiff all messy, glasses askew and a soft smile on his face. About how Phil went out of his way and traveled somewhere to get a dog to cheer Dan up. How much he loves and cares for him. Not now, now he just wants to rest.

He carefully curls his lanky body around the tiny dog and presses her to his chest with both arms. Phil pulls away his hand and starts to stand, and Dan catches his fingers in his and gently squeezes them. He knows Phil will understand.

He lets go of Phil’s hand and closes his eyes. The soft breathing of the dog in his arms and the feeling of her body moving slightly and the smell of her fur makes him feel so comfortable for some reason. He feels his brain starting to fall asleep, and his limbs relax.

In the back of his mind he registers Phil turning off the light, and walking into the bathroom to shower.

By the time Phil comes out of the bathroom, puts on pajamas and climbs into bed, Dan is already deeply asleep with a tiny puppy in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think!
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](https://quercussp.tumblr.com/) or click [here](https://quercussp.tumblr.com/post/177838301912/tired-to-the-bone) to reblog.


End file.
